Having The "Want To"

Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:5-6)

I was in church last night and the story of the man near the pool of Bethesda was explored.  Throughout the message these two verses kept gnawing away at me.  "Do you want to be healed?"  Ouch.

How many of us are hurting?  Perhaps it is the pain of a lost loved one, like the hurt Michelle and I feel over the death of Janie Beth.  Or it could be over the loss of personal health, or financial stability or whatever our illness, injury or pain is.  And yet Jesus, who "knew that he had already been in that condition a long time" is keenly aware of our hurts and struggles and offers to us healing and victory.  And with that thought in mind it seems as if the question Jesus asks is kind of one of those "well duh" moments. 

But is it.

For so long one of the things that has helped me deal with the loss of our job has been the ability I have had to point a finger at those who did (and continue to do) us wrong.  It is easy to blame our denomination for its judgementalism and lack of grace.  To hold onto that pain and hurt (and the accompanying blame game) as a life line.  And then Jesus has to go and ask me - "do you want to be healed?"  If we are truly wanting His touch and healing how are we ever going to know how it feels to get up and walk?  If we do not have the willingness to confront our excuses and hurts, how can we even hope to see victory in our lives?

Dear Lord, hear I am, a man with many hurts and struggles.  A man with dreams crushed and pain that runs deep.  But You are still an amazing God who wants to heal my life and give us a future and a hope.  Help me to have the "want to" that will allow me to see Your healing power.  Confront my excuses and pains and make me whole.   Do I want to be healed..........YES!  And again I say YES!